Construction is well under way! Foundation is laid and walls are being put up. Some other little effects are being added as well, such a large LED lights that will light up the back wall and have the capacity to change color. Nice.
Most of the visitors are interested in the expansion with a mix of excitement. Others, however, decide to spout off their corporate paranoia at ME, as if I signed off on the multi-million dollar project. After filling out a survey, one guy demanded a spiel about the expansion. I explained that it’s replacing the old vistor’s center and will have room for blah blah blah.
“I am fearful of this expansion! New parking lot, right? All that grass torn up, of course. Sheesh.” And off he went. I looked at his survey. He didn’t just write his complaints, he carved his comlplaints.
I am fearful that this new expansion will ruin the integrity of the original building. Corporations just adding on all the time, no thought to the precious arifacts. What’s next, a STARBUCKS???
The word “Starbucks” was enormous and double-underlined. And precious artifacts? Okay, Gollum.
I guess this guy doesn’t realize that the Mercer Museum is a business, driven by revenue from visitors, events, and renters and that the expansion will keep his treasures safe.
The best part was how annoyed he was. I tried to explain a few of these things but he just burned my toast and walked out. The last thing I noticed, he had the “ohm” symbol tattooed on his earlobe. Nice. I guess a clear mind really means an unused mind.
Anyway, the visitor’s center opens Spring 2011! See you then.
I work at the front desk of the Mercer Museum. I take people's money and answer the phone. Generally, it's an easy job- it's leisurely and I get to read. Except today, I was thrown a curveball in the form of a vicious Trojan virus.
It was hungry.
My reception computer was a juicy steak.
Isn't "extended pleasure" dependent on the wearer?
Before the museum opened its doors for visitors, I was lightly surfing the internet (as in, only two tabs open, no downloading, no power reloading) and ended up reading the instructions for installing Rosetta Stone on a Mac. Keep in mind, no downloading.
I exited Internet Explorer and it suddenly became Internet Exploder.
"Need a light?"
Pop-up after pop-up ingloriously intruded on my "Vista Gateway" (not Windows Vista). It got even more hilarious when Viagra ads made their debut in harmonious synchronization with the arrival of a group of retired Floridians. I threw down my book and pounced on the computer mouse with the dexterity and grace of a retarded pelican and calmly welcomed them to the wonderful Mercer Museum.
And I thought my job was easy. Phew.
Never fear, the tech guy managed to clear it up (reboot in safe mode, launch a couple sweep cleaners, one more reboot) and my job was saved. By the way, I'm really not supposed to surf the internet using my work computer. I now understand why.
p.s. I Google image searched "Trojan Condom" and was fearful of the results. My eyes were spared. Thank you, SafeSearch.
p.p.s. The infinite scroll on image searching... about damn time. That's tight.
I found some videos from the Black Keys concert on July 30th.
The first is Kurt Vile.
For reference, at the very beginning you can see a guy in a striped fedora. I was sitting about eight feet to his right. Also, fedora guy kept yelling out "Play Stairway to Freebird!" Classic.
School is around the corner and I'm burning up the last few days. What's in store for Better Live?
Well first, I'm planning a Stanley Kubrick movie marathon. Won't be a mind-bender like the Lynchathon but should turn us deeply introspective.
The plan: The Killing (1956) Dr. Strangelove (1964) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Spans his entire career (ignoring a couple movies before The Killing) and four different genres. Genius-level inspiration- highly anticipated.
AU and D.C. will give me plenty to write about especially when I rejoin forces with the Tin Can Partier- Benjamin Miller. I see only glory and fortune in the future. Pretty similar to what I see in the mirror...
So here it is- the post on the David Lynch movie marathon. What's that? You weren't anxiously awaiting its arrival? Hush your mouth, young one.
David Lynch is one of those crazy bastards that directs movies so intense he dares you to ridicule them. Assuming, of course, you weren't lobotomized by the time the credits roll, and rendered able to only groan in anguish. I approach these guys like a challenge, to see if I can beat them.
My friends and I watched, in this order-
Blue Velvet (1986)
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Inland Empire (2006)
Eraserhead (1976)
Total play time: approx. 8.9 hours.
We didn't give much thought to the order before watching. We started with Blue Velvet because my friend had already seen it. As for the others... it was whichever downloaded first. Turns out, we watched them in the perfect order, from the most straightforward to the most abstract.
Blue Velvet tells the story of a young man investigating the origins of an ear he found in a field. He uncovers a terrible underworld of drugs, sex, and evil within the charm of his small town. Starring Kyle MacLauchlan as Jeffrey Beaumont and Laura Dern as Sandy Williams. Isabella Rossellini plays Dorothy Vallens, a singer mentally ensnared by Frank Booth, played by Dennis Hopper. I'll say this here: Dennis Hopper is the most effed up actor in a mainstream movie. Take an early scene for example: Jeffrey Beaumont is hiding in a closet, hid there by Dorothy Vallens. Frank comes in to her apartment and begins what we can only assume to be a ritualistic rape, heavily breathing in a drug and crying out for his mommy, stuffing blue velvet in his mouth and Dorothy's. My friends and I were terrified. We were also dreading the rest of the night. Would things get worse?
With Mulholland Dr., yes and no. The tone of the movie was not so violent but started to feel more like a nightmare. Hailed as Lynch's masterpiece, MulhollandDrive is a ceaseless avalanche of his thoughts and imagination. I would try to give you a synopsis or a summary, but it's damn near impossible with a movie this abstract. Basically, Naomi Watts goes to Hollywood, meets Laura Harring, they have some steamy lesbian sex, and before you know it no one is who you thought they were. Or maybe they were all the same person. Like I said, the tone is nightmarish. I consulted Roger Ebert (hail the bastion of all things reel) to make some sense of the movie. His advice?
"This is a movie to surrender yourself to. If you require logic, see something else. "Mulholland Drive" works directly on the emotions, like music. Individual scenes play well by themselves, as they do in dreams, but they don't connect in a way that makes sense--again, like dreams."
So that's what I did. I sat back and let the scenes and colors and sounds wash over me. I feel stupefied. I felt drugged. But I did not feel happy. Ebert called them dreams, but I still disagree. Nightmares all the way. One thing did make me happy and that was the arrival of this character:
That is Billy Ray Cyrus being an asshole, mullet and all. WTF?
Midway through the marathon, the sun had set, dinner had been noshed on, and we were content in our seats once more. Time for Inland Empire.
Key locations: I was on the right side of the television with my laptop open in front of me. Lauren was directly across from me with a blanket. Lydia was behind me clutching a pillow. Tyler and Carolyn were far back into the room sharing a couch. These are important details.
Inland Empire is the Arc de Triomphe of abstract film. David Lynch calls upon Laura Dern's acting talents once more, to play an actress struggling against the temptation of her costar. An actress playing an actress struggling against an actor playing an actor. Inception, anyone?
Laura Dern has come a long way since Velvet.
At first I was \=, then I was [=, then I was D-:<
That final picture is one of the many startling scenes from Inland Empire. The plot barely kicks in before the crazy takes over. Allegedly, the movie is the projection of her psyche, going completely apeshit because of her conflicted feelings for her co-star. Whatever it is, it scared the bejeezus out of me and my friends. I realized at one point I was hiding behind my laptop, clutching the top of my screen. Lauren had the blanket at her nose and all I could see were the tips of her glasses. Lydia was trembling under her pillow. Tyler and Carolyn were petrified but safe because of their distance from the screen.
Three hours later, we could finally breathe easy. We had subjected ourselves to the most random assortment of nightmare imagery ever assembled this side of Holocaust documentaries. The time? Nearly midnight. We were exhausted, but not because of the hour.
Last on our list was Eraserhead. We started it, unsure of what we would encounter, but determined to finish the marathon. Nearing the end, we were emotionally drained and jaded. Nothing could freak us out, right?
Bzzzz, wrong! Look, the tagline of the movie even says, "Be warned. The nightmare has not gone away." A prescient statement for his earliest movie of the bunch.
Little in the movie made sense. The guy on the movie poster is a scared man in an industrial nightmare (look, that word again!). A mutant baby is thrust into his life, a temptress sucks him into a pool of metaphorical sex fluid, his head is turned into an eraser, and a woman with ovaries on her cheeks stomps on large, rubbery sperm. Oh God.
If someone can explain this video to me, I would love to hear you try. I need a good laugh.
And yet, for all the absurdity, I couldn't tear my eyes away. Eraserhead was the shortest of the four films, but certainly the strangest and the most atmospheric.
At the end, I was scared silly, drained of energy, and ready to collapse. One of the best ways to spend a day. Or three days... or maybe it was all a dream...
